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Squish Tek

We’ve seen many advances in rosin-making techniques over the last few years. Why is rosin becoming so popular? Well, for starters, rosin is the easiest and safest way to produce your own concentrates. No need to be a backyard chemist, open blasting on your kitchen stove, praying to your sky wizard that you don’t blow up. Just to produce some melancholy tane soup that even you wouldn’t smoke in your most desperate times. No—we’re far classier than that. All you’ll need is a few basic tools: some small sheets of parchment paper, a decent sized nug, and your wife’s most expensive hair straightener—just borrow it, she’ll never know. Although not checking with her first might be more dangerous than open blasting, at least you probably wont burn to death.  Anyways, most hair straighteners will have a dial, or button group, set on them to give you a temp reading. Simply select the lowest setting and allow a couple minutes for the plates to come up to temperature. While they’re heating up, let’s take a moment to admire the bud we’ve selected for the squish. It’s about now you’ll wonder…shouldn’t I just smoke this? Yes, you should. But you’ve already made up your mind, we can’t stop now. So take your first piece of parchment and fold it in half. Take your bud place it between the folds, set it on a table or other hard surface and flatten as much as you can with the palm of your hand (were doing it first, and with a separate sheet to avoid the parchment tearing during the real press). Once you’ve done this fold your second sheet of parchment in half and place your flattened bud in the “V” created by the fold. Slide this between the two heated straightener plates and begin to apply careful, but firm pressure. If you listen closely you’ll be able to hear the oil starting to boil out of the plant material. If you smell burnt popcorn and see steam—you’re running to hot. If you hear or see nothing—too cold.  However, when you get it just right it, the oil will pour out of the bud onto the parchment. After 20-30 seconds of firm applied pressure release the folded parchment from your straightener. Take your squished bud and either throw it in the trash or repeat the process again for a secondary, lackluster squish. Grab your dabber and collect all of the oil you’ve extracted from the bud. Look at you, basically a professional. Now you can smoke your 1 or two hits of hetti flower rosin like a boss. Red nail it too, just to make sure you won’t get any of those craft, small batch terps you’ve created. In closing, you’ve angered your wife—probably caused a divorce, ruined a perfectly good hair straightener, and made a small amount of smokeables. Could have avoided this whole mess, smoked a joint, and left it to the professionals. But you didn’t. Way to go, you. Just because you can do something, doesn’t mean you should.

- Jake

Maine Potcast Contributor

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